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about

An ode to the plongeurs of the world... and by inference, all the other low status workers so easily ignored, forgotten about, demeaned and dismissed.
They exist. They got feelings. They can be sexy too.
Plus, if you'd ever considered working as a kitchen porter, this tune is a fantastic job description.
In fact it might more accurately be described as a job description set to music for a shit job involving menial tasks for hours on end for insultingly low pay.

lyrics

I clean big plates.
I clean small plates.
I clean medium plates.
I clean big pots.
I clean bigger pots.
I clean really big pots.
Sometimes I get helped by a commis or a stage.
Sometimes I get an alcoholic beverage.
One time they made me clean this rotten fish container that smelt so bad I put it through 15 times.
It still smelled of fish.
I'm a plongeur.
I'm a plongeurrrrrrr.
I'm a plongeurrrrrrruuuuuurrr.
Hey!
Pretty stranger.
Hey pretty stranger.
Uh.
I'm a plongeur.
I sweep the floor.
I mop the floor.
The latest I got up was half past four.
In the morning.
I'm often yawning.
But there's something wonderfully... addictive about it.
The mayhem, the madness.
I'm a plongeur.
I change the bins.
5 or 6 times a day.
Up out of sight.
Then quickly back in the thick of it.
Getting whipped.
I clean the waaaarrllls.
I clean the ceilings.
I clean the vents.
I take in the deliveries.
I compress the boxes.
Sometimes a bin man smiles at me.
When he's having his cigarette.
Yesterday I cut up...
...er...the...the long beans.
I'm a plongeur.
I'm a plongeurrrrrrr.
Hey!
Pretty stranger.
(I'm a plongeurrrrrrr)
Hey pretty stranger.
I'm a plongeurrrrrrr.
(I'm a plongeurrrrrrr)
I get off at about 2 in the morning.
(I'm a plongeurrrrrrr)
Sometimes I get home and another day is just about dawning.
(I'm a plongeurrrrrrr)
(plongeurrrrrrr) Guitar solo.
(I'm a plongeurrrrrrr)
Caked in different...
(plongeurrrrrrr)
Smells
Choir: Do you want a plongeur
(I'm a plongeurrrrrrr)
I'm a plongeur.
Choir: Y'know you want a plongeur
(plongeurrrrrrr)
I'm wet through.
(I'm a plongeurrrrrrr)
Choir: Y'know you want a plongeur
bv's: D'cha wanna, d'cha wanna
Choir: Y'gotta have a plongeur
My hands are bleeding.
I'm a plongeurrrrr.

credits

released August 15, 2021
Music Richie Burrell
Lyrics Alex Peat

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The Non-Nonconformists image

The Non-Nonconformists London, UK

Aspirant conformists lost in clown world. Mr Non Non diarises his miserable failures, futile hopes and gruesome punishments at the hands of fate in musical (?) form.

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